Not a long post but I think it’s still deserves some attention. Why the hell does Tootsie Roll Industries continue to make rabbit turds that taste like lemon and lime. I think everyone in the world hates those two flavors. In fact I might just do a study at the local Cinema 8 and pick up all the left-over boxes of Dots left after the movies. My guess would be that there is a large preponderance of yellow and green blobs of crap leftover.
Here’s what I’m proposing. For all of you people that send me stupid e-mail forwards like snowball fights, friends forever crap, or three page detailed forms about who I am and what my favorite brand of green beans are why don’t you start another mass e-mail to ban the inclusion of lemon and lime Dots. For all I care just stick with strawberry, cherry and orange but if you need two replacement flavors let’s start with banana (strawberry bannana Laffy Taffy rocks so why couldn’t we make a little Jelly Belly concoction and mix some shit up). My suggestion for flavor #2 would be kumquat. I’ve never had one but it sounds dirty and looks like a little like a peach and that couldn’t be all bad.
So there you have it. Junk mailers start your engines. I get enough f’ing petitions to save the world, the whales or have Ty Pennington remodel some extra special family’s house so why can’t someone start a petition for me. And for that matter why doesn’t Captain Tootsie Roll just pull the plug anyway; they’d sell more Dots anyway.
And on a lighter note, now for my two favorite commercials:
à demain,
Howie Feltim
